Death Walk

We are so fat from overindulging in food and beverages since the beginning of this trip. We need to exercise. We decide that it is a great time to take the hike up to the Hollywood sign. We get our workout gear together and head out the door. Unfortunately, we get the most annoying cabbie that we had earlier that day (he took us to In-N-Out Burger). He repeats everything three times and acts like a know it all. So annoying.

We get to the area where the walk begins and the cab driver tells us he has nothing to do and doesn't mind waiting for us to take our hike. We give him a $40 deposit and begin sprinting up the hill. I am so out of shape I am instantaneously out of breath. "Hey you guys, I found this shortcut," Corrine shouts back to me because I already cannot keep up with the group. Shortcut? Amazing. Afer about 27 steps we all quickly realize that this shortcut was a bad idea. We should not have strayed off the beaten path. We are hiking up a 78 degree incline and unfortunately did not bring our rockclimbing equipment.

I turn around to see if we should go back and almost faint. We about 26 miles high and could easily fall over the edge. I cannot breathe. I might throw up. It's the altitude. It was so steep at one point we had to slide down on our backsides.

Again I fall behind. I am sweating, sick, cannot breath, and have two cramps. I contemplate jumping off the side of this death mountain. Wheezing, I turn the corner to find Corrine, Rachel and 3 other hikers. "How much longer is this death walk?" I ask them. They look at me like I am retarded because it was right in front of my face. What the hell. Where is the Hollywood sign? We are behind it and only have a view of the "H." The point of this excursion was to try to take a picture in FRONT of the sign.


We start heading down the hill. It is slowly becoming dark and freezing. We make it to the end only to find that the cab driver left the meter running. Great.