There are three beds in our headquarters (i.e. the trailer/clubhouse) and we opt to all sleep in one. We wake up this morning feeling rejuvenated despite our lack of sleep.
This leads me to the title of this blog...sweatpants aren't supposed to be tight. For breakfast Corrine's sister Alayna made about 50 crepes for the family. We ate them with butter and brown sugar, butter and powdered sugar, butter and peanut butter, fruit and whatever other toppings we could come up with. Stuffed and feeling a bulge in our bellies, we again decide we need to exercise.
The plan was to go to the Ventura Pier and check out the scene there. Beforehand we took a photo shoot at the family gym. We get to the pier and immediately head down to the water to take a stroll along the beach where we spot several young surfers. We are at Surfer's point, after all. Corrine pointss out several sea creatures floating amongst the rocks. We found crabs, hermit crabs, sea anemome's and tons of kelp. I have never heard of the creature the sea anemome before in my life. Apparently if you poke them they shrivel up inside themselves. So obviously I was poking the shit out of them. "EEEEWWWWWW Rachel you almost stepped on three of those shriveling up things," I shout. "Well I can't tell where they are because they blend in with their surroundings." Rachel then has another double T (temper tantrum) and the next thing I know she is sulking on a rock alone across the beach.
The Sanders family and I continue on the stroll while Corrine and Rachel go for a run. We meet up with them after a short while and decide it would be a good idea for us to walk down the pier. Mr. Sanders is a history buff and informs me that this pier was once the longest wooden pier in California. He also taught me about the kelp farms and the channel islands far off in the distance.
After our phtotshoot on the pier, we decide its time to head back to the house. Of course, we spot a strange happening on the way back. Three druggies. One passed out in the sand like Christ on the cross with a flute on his belly. Two others teaching each other martial arts moves. Although not very well. Their only move was a karate chop to the neck that they kept practicing over and over. I also learned today what a Cholo was and saw some great examples.
As a result of our walk, we are starving again and decide it is time for our leftover mexican food from Yolanda's. This was followed by homebaked cookies that her mother made. Corrine then went on a motorcycle ride with her father where they checked out her childhood homes. After relaxing for a few hours, we decide it is time for dinner.
We decide on Ferraro's, an italian joint. AGAIN, we overindulge. We are AGAIN sitting around miserably. I may have to take a throw up.
Oh, one more thing. As I was bending over at the beach my pants came down a bit. Rachel now has several shots of my crack.
We have also since learned that LMFAO is pretty famous. They have a song entitled, "I'm in Miami, Bitch!" They sang this in their secret performance at Geisha House. We DIED when we found this out because we were incredibly embarassed.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Sausage
I wake up not feeling so hot. We only got a few hours of sleep and immediately begin getting ready for the much anticipated arrival of Corrine's father, Lambertus (i.e. Bert, Mr. Sanders, Mr. Bert). Rachel is having the worst time pulling her 50 pound suitcase and throws a temper tantrum. We flip it over and find one missing wheel. We load our outrageous amount of luggage into the Tahoe and head on our way.
We took a drive down Rodeo Drive to see all the sights and our next stop was the Getty Museum. We park and take the tram up to the top of the mountain where the famous museum sits. It is famous for its' architechure alone. We spent about an hour in the botanical gardens and had a wonderful photo shoot there. My favorite picture is an action one of Rachel rolling down a grassy knoll arms flailing uncontrollably in the air.
We then had a nice luncheon on an outside patio overlooking the beautiful city of Los Angeles. Our next stop is to check out the inside of the museum. They are constantly changing out exhibits so you never know what you are going to see. We checked out paintings from 1200 to present, looked at sculptures and photography. I think it was a unanimous the our favorite exhibit was in the west building. It consisted of paintings of Monet, Renoir, Cezanne, Picasso and several other artists I learned of in my Art Appreciation class at Frostburg.
Next we take a ride down the PCH to Ventura. The Pacific Coast Highway runs right through Malibu. By this time it is dark and rainy. The PCH is incredibly windy and off one side is an extreme cliff with the Pacific at its bottom. All I can see are the curves of the road in front of me. I think I am having a panic attack because all I can imagine is us hydroplaning and having my life end in a treacherous death by drowning in the car. The road striaghtens up as we enter Ventura County and I ease up. We meet the rest of the Sanders family at their favorite mexican restaurant, Yolanda's. This is our third mexican meal of the trip, which means we can barely fit in our clothes anymore. We finish up dinner and head to the Sanders home. Here we catch up on Corrine's childhood pictures, especially the ones with her sausage arms. What a cute baby.
We are completely exhausted by now so we head over to the trailer (aka the clubhouse), where our headquarters for the next 2 nights will be. It is raining and all we can hear is the rain hitting the trailer. At first we are excited, thinking that the rain will be soothing to sleep through. In the middle of the night, we are all awakened by a downpour so loud, and wind so strong that we think the trailer might just fall off of this cliff as well.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Go Big or Go Home!
It's Kerri again. Our last day in L.A. was pretty eventful. We began the day with a drive to the Santa Monica Pier where we enjoyed some of the most beautiful scenery California has to offer. We strolled around for a while. "Excuse me sir? Would you mind taking a picture of us?" Rachel asks. He actually did a pretty good job considering he had only one eye. We then hit up Mariosol, the restuarant on the pier, for some drinks, lunch and complimentary postcards with our picture on them.
We then continue down the coastline to Venice Beach. It looks just like it did in Lost Boys. At first I think I love this place. It is completely filled with hippies and rastafari selling their homemade crafts. We see Muscle Beach and all the tennis, basketball and volleyball courts. By this time it starts getting extremely cold, so we decide we need to buy souvenir sweatshirts. Corrine and I get Venice Beach Lifeguard hoodies and Rachel chooses a LAPD one. At this point we have been walking around for about three hours. We are freezing and exhausted and start to realize that all these cool people in Venice are actully completely fucked up on drugs. We smell the strongest stench of marijauna but it was the meth addicts that were really frightening. Everyone seemed homeless as well. The spot where they sold their goods was actually their home. After an altrication with one CRAZY screaming obscenities and following us, we decide it is time to head for the car.
On the agenda for the evening was dinner with Corrine's old friend, Ronald. He was running a tad late so we head back to Saddle Ranch to have a drink and wait. A complimentary shot and a double red bull vodka later, Ronnie shows up. We head to a mexican place on Hollywood Boulevard, Loteria. The food was absolutely amazing.
We are right next to Ashton Kutcher's restaurant, Geisha House so decide to stop in there for a drink and to check out the joint. Ronnie fills us in on the fact that the upstairs bar is the hotspot. We head up there and quickly realize that it is some sort of rappers birthday party. They had their dinner table in the middle of the dance floor with several hot chicks dancing around them, including us. They were wearing white robes. One was embroidered with the acronyms LMFAO. We post up right next to them and take our signature drink, Sake bombs. After the rappers finished up their meals they put on a performance. It was pretty good but apparently not good enough because I seriously could not tell you who the hell they were. We leave to go meet Tyler at the House of Blues when it was spotted. Our first celebrity sighting, Frankie DelGado of The Hills! Well some might not consider him a celebrity but whatevs.
We then continue down the coastline to Venice Beach. It looks just like it did in Lost Boys. At first I think I love this place. It is completely filled with hippies and rastafari selling their homemade crafts. We see Muscle Beach and all the tennis, basketball and volleyball courts. By this time it starts getting extremely cold, so we decide we need to buy souvenir sweatshirts. Corrine and I get Venice Beach Lifeguard hoodies and Rachel chooses a LAPD one. At this point we have been walking around for about three hours. We are freezing and exhausted and start to realize that all these cool people in Venice are actully completely fucked up on drugs. We smell the strongest stench of marijauna but it was the meth addicts that were really frightening. Everyone seemed homeless as well. The spot where they sold their goods was actually their home. After an altrication with one CRAZY screaming obscenities and following us, we decide it is time to head for the car.
On the agenda for the evening was dinner with Corrine's old friend, Ronald. He was running a tad late so we head back to Saddle Ranch to have a drink and wait. A complimentary shot and a double red bull vodka later, Ronnie shows up. We head to a mexican place on Hollywood Boulevard, Loteria. The food was absolutely amazing.
We are right next to Ashton Kutcher's restaurant, Geisha House so decide to stop in there for a drink and to check out the joint. Ronnie fills us in on the fact that the upstairs bar is the hotspot. We head up there and quickly realize that it is some sort of rappers birthday party. They had their dinner table in the middle of the dance floor with several hot chicks dancing around them, including us. They were wearing white robes. One was embroidered with the acronyms LMFAO. We post up right next to them and take our signature drink, Sake bombs. After the rappers finished up their meals they put on a performance. It was pretty good but apparently not good enough because I seriously could not tell you who the hell they were. We leave to go meet Tyler at the House of Blues when it was spotted. Our first celebrity sighting, Frankie DelGado of The Hills! Well some might not consider him a celebrity but whatevs.
So we head to House of Blues but couldn't go in bacause Tyler informed us that a punk band, GWAR, had played there that night. Apparently the entire crowd was drenched in kool aid. We decide to head back to old trusty, Saddle Ranch. Rachel buys some booty shorts and again wows the crowd with her bull riding skills. For those of you dying to see this spectacle...it was videotaped and will be posted later. I took those shorts from Rachel and put them on in the middle of the bar. I chicken out at the last second.
Corrine decides to take a snooze at this point, while Rachel and I make some friends and head to one final destination. I will leave that to your imagination but keep in mind that it is about 2 am at this point and there is not much open...
Monday, November 24, 2008
Pathetic Night
Its Rachel here again. I am going to have to blog about this one because Kerri's performance last night was piss poor.
Julie comes up from San Diego for the night to visit us. We get ready and head out to Gardens of Taxco. This place is about 4 blocks away but for some reason the cab fair is $14. Why? I have no idea. We have been getting jipped by cab drivers since we got here. When we get to the mexican restaurant we are very excited for some authentic mexican, but can barely see each other because the lighting is so dim. We order a pitcher of margaritas. Kerri is looking very sad and tired so I recommend that we order a round of tequila shots. The waiter comes over and we soon learn that they dont carry have hard liguor. Then what the hell is in these margaritas? We are appalled at this, but its too late. We have already ordered our meals from a waiter who sang us the menu since they did not have menus (another thing we were very confused about). When I say he sang the menu, I mean he sang the whole thing rolling his rrrrr's with each sentence.
We get to our second course when a small mexican man swings out from behind a red velvet curtain. He is carrying a guitar and begins serenading a table nearby. We know that he will soon make it our way. He eventually gets to us and asks us for any requests. Kerri immediately remembers her favorite movie about a young mexican star entitled La Bamba. "La-la-la-la-la-la Bamba..." We sing along with him and roll our R's the spanish way though the instrumental parts. I then request my favorite spanish tune; Feliz Navidad.
We order some more drinks and apparently are recieving a 6 course meal. We have no idea how much anything costs because there were no menus. Kerri is falling asleep at the table and barely touched her food. Corrine and I are trying to convince Kerri that she must drink her way to feel better. Julie is probably contemplating why the hell she came out to meet us when we are all so lame. Kerri is so pathetic right now that we cant even imagine dragging her to a bar after the meal because we would just be embarassed by her. So, we all come to the conclusion that we should just head on home and try to get some rest. That is really the only thing we can all agree on at this time because we are all so exhausted from LA.
One more thing. We recently learned that Corrine has several nicknames from her dad. Rin tin tin, Rinnikins, Rinnie, and fartsmeller.
Julie comes up from San Diego for the night to visit us. We get ready and head out to Gardens of Taxco. This place is about 4 blocks away but for some reason the cab fair is $14. Why? I have no idea. We have been getting jipped by cab drivers since we got here. When we get to the mexican restaurant we are very excited for some authentic mexican, but can barely see each other because the lighting is so dim. We order a pitcher of margaritas. Kerri is looking very sad and tired so I recommend that we order a round of tequila shots. The waiter comes over and we soon learn that they dont carry have hard liguor. Then what the hell is in these margaritas? We are appalled at this, but its too late. We have already ordered our meals from a waiter who sang us the menu since they did not have menus (another thing we were very confused about). When I say he sang the menu, I mean he sang the whole thing rolling his rrrrr's with each sentence.
We get to our second course when a small mexican man swings out from behind a red velvet curtain. He is carrying a guitar and begins serenading a table nearby. We know that he will soon make it our way. He eventually gets to us and asks us for any requests. Kerri immediately remembers her favorite movie about a young mexican star entitled La Bamba. "La-la-la-la-la-la Bamba..." We sing along with him and roll our R's the spanish way though the instrumental parts. I then request my favorite spanish tune; Feliz Navidad.
We order some more drinks and apparently are recieving a 6 course meal. We have no idea how much anything costs because there were no menus. Kerri is falling asleep at the table and barely touched her food. Corrine and I are trying to convince Kerri that she must drink her way to feel better. Julie is probably contemplating why the hell she came out to meet us when we are all so lame. Kerri is so pathetic right now that we cant even imagine dragging her to a bar after the meal because we would just be embarassed by her. So, we all come to the conclusion that we should just head on home and try to get some rest. That is really the only thing we can all agree on at this time because we are all so exhausted from LA.
One more thing. We recently learned that Corrine has several nicknames from her dad. Rin tin tin, Rinnikins, Rinnie, and fartsmeller.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Death Walk
We are so fat from overindulging in food and beverages since the beginning of this trip. We need to exercise. We decide that it is a great time to take the hike up to the Hollywood sign. We get our workout gear together and head out the door. Unfortunately, we get the most annoying cabbie that we had earlier that day (he took us to In-N-Out Burger). He repeats everything three times and acts like a know it all. So annoying.
We get to the area where the walk begins and the cab driver tells us he has nothing to do and doesn't mind waiting for us to take our hike. We give him a $40 deposit and begin sprinting up the hill. I am so out of shape I am instantaneously out of breath. "Hey you guys, I found this shortcut," Corrine shouts back to me because I already cannot keep up with the group. Shortcut? Amazing. Afer about 27 steps we all quickly realize that this shortcut was a bad idea. We should not have strayed off the beaten path. We are hiking up a 78 degree incline and unfortunately did not bring our rockclimbing equipment.
I turn around to see if we should go back and almost faint. We about 26 miles high and could easily fall over the edge. I cannot breathe. I might throw up. It's the altitude. It was so steep at one point we had to slide down on our backsides.
Again I fall behind. I am sweating, sick, cannot breath, and have two cramps. I contemplate jumping off the side of this death mountain. Wheezing, I turn the corner to find Corrine, Rachel and 3 other hikers. "How much longer is this death walk?" I ask them. They look at me like I am retarded because it was right in front of my face. What the hell. Where is the Hollywood sign? We are behind it and only have a view of the "H." The point of this excursion was to try to take a picture in FRONT of the sign.
We start heading down the hill. It is slowly becoming dark and freezing. We make it to the end only to find that the cab driver left the meter running. Great.
We get to the area where the walk begins and the cab driver tells us he has nothing to do and doesn't mind waiting for us to take our hike. We give him a $40 deposit and begin sprinting up the hill. I am so out of shape I am instantaneously out of breath. "Hey you guys, I found this shortcut," Corrine shouts back to me because I already cannot keep up with the group. Shortcut? Amazing. Afer about 27 steps we all quickly realize that this shortcut was a bad idea. We should not have strayed off the beaten path. We are hiking up a 78 degree incline and unfortunately did not bring our rockclimbing equipment.
I turn around to see if we should go back and almost faint. We about 26 miles high and could easily fall over the edge. I cannot breathe. I might throw up. It's the altitude. It was so steep at one point we had to slide down on our backsides.
Again I fall behind. I am sweating, sick, cannot breath, and have two cramps. I contemplate jumping off the side of this death mountain. Wheezing, I turn the corner to find Corrine, Rachel and 3 other hikers. "How much longer is this death walk?" I ask them. They look at me like I am retarded because it was right in front of my face. What the hell. Where is the Hollywood sign? We are behind it and only have a view of the "H." The point of this excursion was to try to take a picture in FRONT of the sign.
We start heading down the hill. It is slowly becoming dark and freezing. We make it to the end only to find that the cab driver left the meter running. Great.
Sunset Boulevard
Every ten seconds someone is bombing. We had to tell owner of Miyagi's to STOP giving us complimentary sake and shots. It was a bit too much. We could not fit anything else in our stomachs...we were overdosing.
Hollywood has been extremely complimentary to us so far. Upon our arrival we took a 5 mile hike down Sunset Boulevard. The hike had us a little famished so we found the cutest little mexican cantina (Cabo Cantina) and enjoyed some margaritas and nachos. Feeling refreshed we decide it's time to do some sightseeing. Hollywood boulevard is our destination. We saw Graumans Chinese Theatre and the Walk of Fame, the Kodak Theatre and a million star impersonators. My favorite was Spongebob because he told us we were pretty. Rachel loved spiderman because he was hanging off some scaffolding. We put our hands in Marilyn Monroes' prints and took several pictures. Shopping was on the agenda as well.
Corrine threw a double T (temper tantrum). She is making me put in that this was done privately. It really was not. During this sightseeing extravaganza she lets us know that she absolutely despises anything that is sightseeing related. It is going to be a struggle to get her on that open air bus tour of the stars homes.
Again we are craving sushi. We try to go to Katana...the people are so serious here. The entrance was velvet roped off and I was so nervous they were not going to let us in. We had to wait a few minutes so someone could check us out. They had make sure we were acceptable enough to dine in their establishment. We passed the test. Whew! We didnt really like the scene in there so we headed to Miyagis for dinner where we each ordered our own bottle of Sake.
Our next stop was the Saddle Ranch. We meet up with Dan Hill and some other Frostburg people. I also meet up with an old high school friend, Tyler. I want to ride that bull. It ended up being too difficult with signing up and I had no pants.
Corrine, Rachel and Steph are so tired they are falling asleep at the bar. I am ready to go so I head to the after party at Tyler's house. This is porbably one of the sickest houses I have ever seen. The view alone was major partial material. It was at the very top of the Hollywood Hills. It was basically indescribable.
Today Julie is coming. We are going to head to Venice Beach and check out the scene there. In the meantime, I need to chill out on the patio area of this hotel because it is basically a paradise.
Stay tuned for more stories of our debachery....
Wait...the maid just threw out Rachel's contacts...Shit.
Hollywood has been extremely complimentary to us so far. Upon our arrival we took a 5 mile hike down Sunset Boulevard. The hike had us a little famished so we found the cutest little mexican cantina (Cabo Cantina) and enjoyed some margaritas and nachos. Feeling refreshed we decide it's time to do some sightseeing. Hollywood boulevard is our destination. We saw Graumans Chinese Theatre and the Walk of Fame, the Kodak Theatre and a million star impersonators. My favorite was Spongebob because he told us we were pretty. Rachel loved spiderman because he was hanging off some scaffolding. We put our hands in Marilyn Monroes' prints and took several pictures. Shopping was on the agenda as well.
Corrine threw a double T (temper tantrum). She is making me put in that this was done privately. It really was not. During this sightseeing extravaganza she lets us know that she absolutely despises anything that is sightseeing related. It is going to be a struggle to get her on that open air bus tour of the stars homes.
Again we are craving sushi. We try to go to Katana...the people are so serious here. The entrance was velvet roped off and I was so nervous they were not going to let us in. We had to wait a few minutes so someone could check us out. They had make sure we were acceptable enough to dine in their establishment. We passed the test. Whew! We didnt really like the scene in there so we headed to Miyagis for dinner where we each ordered our own bottle of Sake.
Our next stop was the Saddle Ranch. We meet up with Dan Hill and some other Frostburg people. I also meet up with an old high school friend, Tyler. I want to ride that bull. It ended up being too difficult with signing up and I had no pants.
Corrine, Rachel and Steph are so tired they are falling asleep at the bar. I am ready to go so I head to the after party at Tyler's house. This is porbably one of the sickest houses I have ever seen. The view alone was major partial material. It was at the very top of the Hollywood Hills. It was basically indescribable.
Today Julie is coming. We are going to head to Venice Beach and check out the scene there. In the meantime, I need to chill out on the patio area of this hotel because it is basically a paradise.
Stay tuned for more stories of our debachery....
Wait...the maid just threw out Rachel's contacts...Shit.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
The Ice Bucket
One thing everyone should know about me is that I am an ice whore. I need ice in everything. This morning we were all in need of some serious beverages so we all take a walk to the ice machine to check out the weather. I hand Corrine the bucket to fill up when I heard the same shrill scream from the night before. "This bucket is a little dirty. Nothing that comes from this bucket is going into my mouth." There were pubes in the bucket. All those news shows that reveal hotel conspiracies were true. I NEED ICE. We settle for just holding the ice in our hands.
We then decide that the next best thing we could do to refresh ourselves is to dip our feet in the pool. We start walking there in the same clothes we wore the night before and that we slept in. I was wearing a dress so I immediately take off my pants to dip my feet in the pool. Sitting on the edge of the pool was not enough. We all needed to be fully submerged. So we wrapped ourselves in towels, stripped down and jumped in. It was my first Skinny dip and it was fabulous.
We have since relocated to Hollywood. We are staying in the most beautiful hotel I have ever seen. There are so many flowers here that the aroma is slightly overwhelming. I think I am never coming home.
We then decide that the next best thing we could do to refresh ourselves is to dip our feet in the pool. We start walking there in the same clothes we wore the night before and that we slept in. I was wearing a dress so I immediately take off my pants to dip my feet in the pool. Sitting on the edge of the pool was not enough. We all needed to be fully submerged. So we wrapped ourselves in towels, stripped down and jumped in. It was my first Skinny dip and it was fabulous.
We have since relocated to Hollywood. We are staying in the most beautiful hotel I have ever seen. There are so many flowers here that the aroma is slightly overwhelming. I think I am never coming home.
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